Snakehead Terror

Here is another fantastic movie with lots of blood, lots of over-the-top mayhem, and human growth hormones.  Bruce Boxleitner, of Tron fame, is the sheriff and Carol Alt is also in the movie.  Throw in Medusa's Face alumni Chelan Simmons, from Ice Twisters and Malibu Shark Attack, just for good measure.

This small lake town had a problem in the past.  Snakehead fish were introduced to the lake by accident and began eating all of the other species of fish that were indigenous to the lake.  To kill off the snakehead population, a poison was introduced to the lake to kill them off.  Which also killed off any remaining indigenous fish.

Enter in the local coroner and bait shop brothers who have taken it upon themselves to help repopulate the lake by adding human growth hormones.  The hormones were supposed to be a catalyst to help the indigenous fish, but instead, helped the snakeheads.  And boy howdy, did it ever help them.  One of the snakeheads has grown the size of a whale.

Let's cut to the chase.  Here is what you need to know:  1) lots of large fish that can also walk in land, 2) these fish are capable of decapitating a human (or several), 3) one of the funniest ways to get a killer fish off of your arm is to hold it over the moving propeller of your beached fishing boat.

This movie uses digital fish as well as foam rubber fish throughout the movie.  You all know that I love it when foam rubber villains make their way onto the screen.  And this movie has some classic moments.  About the only thing this movie is missing is some gratuitous nudity or a performance such as Holly Weber's in Supergator.  Oh, how she did perform in that movie.

I give this movie 3 out of 5 electric fishing guns.

A.I. Assault

The best part of creating a robot that can kill relentlessly, is the ability to create two robots that can kill relentlessly.  The opening scene only shows one of the robots, but it also showcases how brutal capability of the mechanical monsters.

 

COOL DEATH SCENE NOT REPEATED IN THE MOVIE: When the movie opens, a soldier is killed when the robot shoots a saw blade that decapitates him.  Why not use that feature more?  I don't know.  Seems like an effective weapon.  The ray gun is nice too, but the saw blade is much cooler.

 

Big names in this film.  George Takei.  Michael Dorn.  Paul Logan.  What?  You don't remember Paul Logan.  He's the guy from Mega Piranha with Tiffany, from an older post.  This is some of his earlier work.

 

Here are the need-to-knows:

 

1. Robots were built to take over the front line on military attacks to save soldier's lives.

2. The robots have begun to learn on their own and must be stopped.

3. The COOL DEATH SCENE ALERTs are at a minimum.

 

When Paul Logan jumps in to help save the day, he does this tumble roll that is very comical.  Not worth saving the movie, but worth seeing.  It's these types of scenes that make my heart sing.  Gore at a minimum, plot jumpy, and digital effects that could have been polished.  All things you would expect from a movie like this and it delivers completely.

 

I give this movie 1 out of 5 lightning strikes.

Sea Beast

It's not often that you lose a member of your crew in this fishing village.  But for one captain, he loses his entire crew.  Just not all at once.  We have a long movie people!

 

The digital sea beast for this movie is a cross between The Creature from the Black Lagoon and Predator.  The sea beast, not the movie plot or dialog or action or any other similarities, just the sea beast.  The sea beast has the ability to camouflage itself to an almost invisible state.  It has a paralyzing venom that is also a toxin.  It also has a tongue that has enormous reach and strength.  If this were a better movie, everyone would have a plush sea beast on their mantle.

 

Captain Will is trying to make ends meet and can't catch any fish.  One of his hands just got taken overboard and now a second hand has gone missing getting the boat ready to go back out to sea.  A green goo is found on the pier and Ms. Arden, who is a biologist, helps Captain Will determine that it is a toxin that behaves much like a deep sea angler fish.  Only this fish can live out of the water.

 

The third crew member has taken Captain Will's daughter to "the island" to have a get away weekend.  The island is crawling with younger sea beasts.  The two of them manage to keep alive.  In one scene, the crew member (Danny) has the sea beast's tongue wrapped around his ankle and to save him, the daughter (Carly) drops a heavy stone on the tongue which forces the tongue to drag the sea beast's face into the stone.

 

The only other scene worth watching is when the Harbor Master, Barbara, gets her head bitten off by the momma sea beast.  Other than that, it's business as usual.  And they get to kill the sea beast.

 

It's not that scary of a movie and the story jumps between characters a lot.  I would have liked to have seen more action when the digital sea beast was on screen.  Or maybe a foam sea beast that the people can wrestle with or something.

 

I give this movie 1 1/2 out of 5 fishing vessels.