Werewolf: The Devil's Hound

This is either one of the worst horror movies or the worst attempt at being a funny horror film.  But at least it has some of the criteria that I love here at Medusa's Face.  Buckets of blood and over the top violence.  And veteran Medusa's Face alumni, Kevin Shea, who you remember from Assault of the Sasquatch and Banshee!!!

The story is a little slow and slightly confusing, but it's worth the blood and gore that happens later in the film.  The werewolf, which is more like a Yettie, starts out early and kills a couple of men before being crated up and shipped to ... I have no idea where.  Good thing the shipment is mixed up and delivered to this special effects studio.  Otherwise, we would never know what happened to the werewolf.

Things to look out for in this movie: several decapitations, a woman is sawed in half, a man who has both his arms ripped off - also has his head stomped to bits, legs being ripped off, interracial sex, and to top it all off, a racist joke about fireworks and Chinese people.  The only thing this movie is missing is nudity or partial nudity.  It's got everything else that I love in bad B movies.

The fireworks ending is silly, but then again, most of the movies that have been reviewed on Medusa's Face have that same flaw.

I give this movie 2 1/2 out of 5 raccoons.

Bane

Before I start this, .. let me just say, "what?"  I mean really.  What?  I've seen some pretty odd movies, but this one is one of the oddest.

Four women are isolated and tortured so that the research team can study their brain waves when the women are experiencing a raw emotion.  Mostly fear.  At different points in the film, a man cuts a time into the flesh of one of the women.  That time is when they are taken away and then brutalized.

Buckets of fake blood later, one of the women comes out of the experiment alive and the experiment is finally explained.  And I don't mind telling you that it is one of the most wretched explanations ever thought up.  Turns out, the emotion that the researchers really needed was love.

(single tear)

Now that I have seen this movie, I know that I will never have to see it again.  This was one of the worst movies that I have ever seen.  And I like bad movies, so I have seen my fair share of lemons.

I give this movie 0 out of 5 smashed clocks.

Alien Siege

The world has been enslaved by an alien race that wants to harvest humans for their blood.  They need the blood to create a vaccine for a disease on their home planet.  But they don't just take the blood, they take the people.

 

A total of 8 million people are to be harvested by the alien Kulkus.  The contribution by the United States is 800,000.  A lottery is created to see who will be chosen to be sacrificed.  Dr. Stephen Chase's daughter, Heather, is one of the chosen, but he doesn't want to let her go.  He tries all movie to keep her from being processed, but she gets sent to the space ship that does the blood work.  Turns out, she is one of a handful that can withstand the pressures of the medical experiment being performed by the Kulkus.  Not only that, but her blood might be the perfect cure.

 

It doesn't matter, Dr. Chase is one of the leading researchers studying a Kulkus vessel that crashed on the Earth 50 years ago.  And he's a sneaky one.  He hid material, Genexium, that the Kulkus were looking for up in the drop ceiling of his office.  Cleaver, huh?

 

Heather gets help from the very soldiers who are gathering up the people for the Kulkus.  Carl Weathers is in charge of the soldiers.  I guess he should have punched some more discipline in them.

 

The aliens have superior fire power, but they have wretched aiming skills.  I guess the few explosions that they created must have shocked the military into doing their bidding.  Even if you enjoy science fiction movies, you will have a hard time enjoying this one.  Definitely one to miss.  One of the best lines of the movie, "That's one for the humans."

 

I give this movie 1/2 out of 5 rebel strikes.