Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy

I don't know if it is good or bad that I do not read the plot summary on these movies before I watch them.  By looking at the title, I would have thought that a group of hammerhead sharks got together and started terrorizing a group of college kids or something like that.  But, I would have been totally wrong.  This movie is about the genetic alteration of a man's genes spliced with the genes of a hammerhead shark to try to cure disease and put humans into the oceans.

 

Before I get started, let me just say, "Oh c'mon, man!"

 

The evil scientist who has enough money to buy an island, build a research facility there, and also able to employ several security personnel, is experimenting with the DNA of his son.  The scientist is mad at the owner of the research facility that he was fired from and has invited him and several other guests to come to the island to see the progress that he has made with his experiments.  So far, so good.

 

Things take a turn for the worst when the scientist decides to kill all of his guests and use them as food for the sharkman that he has created.  The guests escape via the convenience of the vent fan that happens to have a ladder next to it too.  Inevitably, the guests are killed off by the sharkman or otherwise.   Shocker there, I know.

 

The thing that killed me was the head of IT, Tom (played by William Forsythe).  For a guy who is in charge of the IT Department, he is not what you would expect.  He is a take charge kind of guy.  I suppose dating Hunter Tylo made him a little more aggressive.  However, any way that you slice it, this movie is a stinker.  Buckets of fake blood thrown against a tree do not count as a moment of fear.  The explosions at the end of the movie must have been the bulk of the budget.  Some explosions are real, some are digital.  It is just not enough "wow" factor for me.

 

I give this movie 1/2 out of 5 microscopes powerful enough to see the individual strands of DNA.

SS Doomtrooper

Creating a digital superhuman to destroy the enemy is one thing, but to do it in the 1940's, well now you have something.  While the Allies used nuclear power in a bomb, apparently the Germans used it to genetically alter some soldiers.

A German facility has begun testing genetic alterations on some animals.  And the head scientist is ready to take his testing to the next level and use a human test subject.  A lucky soldier is put in the both and when he comes out, he transforms into a nine foot wrecking ball of a man.  He is outfitted with gear and will be used to prevent the rag-tag bunch of Ally criminals that are out to destroy the facility.

The problem with having a nine foot super trooper that cannot be stopped by the Allies, he cannot be stopped by the Germans either.  The Doomtrooper has a few enhancements from the transformation.  He now has the ability to electrocute his victims via touch, he can withstand the blast of several grenades and a direct hit from a tank, but can't take someone cutting him with a pocket knife.  What a joke.

If they are not fighting the digital creature, then the group of soldiers are performing great heroic acts.  At one point in the movie, the "actor" can't think of how to get out of a situation, so he coughs while practically screaming for another soldier to open fire.  Pathetic.

Very few, if any, scenes to get excited about.  If you enjoyed The Thin Red Line, then this is a movie for you.

I give this movie 1/2 out of 5 French resistance soldiers.

Bats: Human Harvest

I've watched digital sharks.  I've watched digital snakes.  I've even watched digital crocodiles.  With this movie, I got to see a lot of digital bats and a fair share of digital helicopters.

 

A Chechen patrol is out investigating an area close to the Belzan Forest.  They head in and are attacked by bats.  But the terribly odd thing here is that the attack is being monitored.  And in another part of the world, the Delta Team is rescuing a hostage from an Al Qaeda training camp in Iraq.  How do these two incidents relate?  They really don't.  It's only to set up that the Delta Team is one of the best and they will be used to go to Chechnya.

 

You see, this American doctor is doing research over in the Belzan Forest on bats.  Genetic research for who knows what reason.  Well, the Delta Team is being sent to extract Dr. Walsh and return him to America.  A C.I.A. agent, who happens to have a Russian accent, is to accompany the team on the mission.

 

I could go on about what this movie is about, but it's not really worth it.  There are a bunch of scenes with computer generated helicopters flying around and even more scenes of these genetically altered super bats.  The story jumps around from the Delta Team, to the Chechen rebels, to the Chechen army so much, it's hard to keep track of what is going on.

 

I was so hard to grade this movie.  I don't know if I can give a movie a negative rating.  It might encourage more people to watch it.

 

I give this movie 0 out of 5 digitally created helicopters.