Reykjavik: Whale Watching Massacre or Harpoon: Whale Watching Massacre

Here is another movie that goes by two different titles, but trying to figure out the title of this movie is the least of your worries.  A classic B movie that has senseless violence, unexplained motive for killing, and buckets of blood.  Just what I wanted to see.

A group of tourists in Iceland are going whale watching.  Nothing too out of the ordinary there, right.  But things take a turn for the worst when the Frenchman decides to climb the mast of the boat.  The Frenchman slips and falls onto the captain with a wooden stick that impales the captain.  Mortally wounding the captain.

Before the first mate can finish raping one of the tourists, he is told of the captain's wounding.  And in a blink of an eye, the first mate jumps ship and motors off in the dingy for help.  Help arrives, but not in time to save the captain.  And now the real fun begins.

The tourists are taken to another boat.  This new boat is not fond of outsiders.  So much so, that they have begun murdering the tourists.  Which takes no time at all.  When two ladies fight over a cell phone and one gets a bloody nose, she also gets a hammer to the forehead.  Lots of COOL DEATH SCENE ALERTs, from a guy getting harpooned to another getting a flare to the eye.  Quality kills in this one.

The ending is the only time you get to see a whale and even then it is not much whale footage.  Probably because the ending is horrible.  Yet another B movie that didn't know how to end.  Oh well.  At least a guy got shot with a harpoon.  Which was pretty sweet if you ask me.

I give this movie 3 out of 5 exploding purses.

Reign of Fire

Dragons can hibernate for several years, like a million of them.  And when they come out of hibernation, they are hungry and angry.

 

While digging at a construction site, the drill comes across a void.  The son of one of the workers there is playing about and goes into the area to look at the void.  Besides seeing a lot of nothing, he also gets treated to seeing a dragon.  That boy grows up to be Quinn (Christian Bale), who in the year 2020 is helping keep a small group of people alive and away from the dragons.

 

Van Zan (Matthew McConaughey) leads a few soldiers and battles the dragons.  His group believes that the way to destroy the dragons is to essentially keep them from breeding.  There is one male that lives in London and the rest of the dragons are females.  Van Zan and his group are able to harpoon and kill one of the dragons.  While there is much rejoicing, everyone knows that they are not finished with the danger until all of the dragons are killed.

 

The male dragon is confronted by Quinn and Van Zan.  SPOILER ALERT: the dragon is killed.  I won't tell you how, in case you thought of watching this movie.

 

The graphics are very polished.  And everyone does a great job in their role.  I just wanted more action.  And for an area that is supposed to be overrun with dragons, you don't get to see the numbers of them until the end.  Not a bad way to spend an afternoon, but don't get your hopes up too high.

 

I give this movie 2 1/2 out of 5 dragon eggs.

Eye of the Beast

Most movies that I have seen with large digital threats have an unexplained "expert" who just happens to be on the scene.  At least provides a small reason for the expert to be in the movie.  Too bad the expert is James Van Der Beek and every time that he shows up on the screen I silently sing to myself, "I don't want to wait ...."

 

What we are dealing with is a large squid that has been eating all of the fish (and a few humans) near the fishing village by Fells Island.  Dawson, who's name in this movie is Dr. Dan Leland, shows up on behalf of the National Oceanographic Research Agency to collect data on why the fish may be disappearing.  He teams up with Katrina, who is the local officer for the Department of Lakes and Fisheries, and one of the fishing vessels so he can gather his data.

 

The locals have their own opinion on why the fish have vanished.  The native-Americans think that the "white man" has over fished the area and the others are blaming the native-Americans because they do not need permits.  While each of those groups argue, more people go missing and more limbs keep turning up as evidence.

 

The groups have to ultimately work together to nab the creature.  Which the squid conveniently comes out of the water to have a harpoon, connected with an electrical line, penetrate its eye and electrocute the beast.  However, it's not all digital tentacles during the movie.  Which does help the "realism" of some of the scenes.

 

Of course Dawson falls for Katrina and with the squid now defeated, they can begin to explore a relationship.  Isn't that lovely.  Awww.

 

So predicable.

 

As far as B movies go, it didn't have a lot of violence or mystery or intrigue.  The movie is nothing more than a handful of people trying to make things right for the other handful of people that were attacked by giant foam tentacles.  Not much to see here.

 

I give this movie 1 out of 5 squid t-shirts.

Phantom Force

Let me sum up Phantom Force for you in one word, ... "what"?  This ancient stone that can summon these guys from hell to act a superwarriors during war.  It's some sort of port key that can bring these superwarriors into the present from the past.  One superwarrior guy did have a cool harpoon, but he doesn't use it until the very end.  The Phantom Force is a team assigned to find the stone and bring it back.  For .. research.  Yeah.  That's right.  Research.

For the team to collect the stone, they have to board a submarine that is in another dimension.  Wait, ... it gets better.  It really doesn't.  They have a lot of gizmos to help them along, one being a liquid nitrogen grenade that "could flash freeze a dinosaur".  Ah, science.

The main character, Richard Greico, also has some sort of sixth sense where he can tell the worse part of someone's life even if he just met them.  Hey, Richie!  Can you guess the worst part of my life?

I give this movie 1 out of 5 harpoons.