We haven't had a "mega" movie title in a few days, so wait no more. On second thought, you might want to wait some more.
Things to look out for in this film:
1) A massive python eats a moving train. MOVING train.
2) Tiffany to Debbie Gibson, "I think we're alone now."
3) Response of Debbie Gibson to Tiffany, "There doesn't seem to be anyone around."
4) There is an 80's style montage where the snakes and gators grow larger. Yes, it is set to music. No, they do not pump iron. They just grow larger. To music. Possibly Tiffany. Possibly Debbie Gibson. Definitely bad.
Basic plot: Debbie Gibson releases some pythons into the Florida everglades where they grow large enough to swallow trains. Tiffany combats the snake problem by feeding anabolic steroids to a group of alligators in order to have nature balance itself out.
Nothing could possibly go wrong.
Except having someone okay this film.
I give it 1/2 out of 5 gator eggs. Even the horrible "cat fight" scene between Tiffany and Debbie Gibson is awful. At least Debbie could have ripped Tiffany's dress to make her massive cleavage pop out.
Showing posts with label Tiffany. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tiffany. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Mega Piranha
Nothing says "I love you" like a movie about genetically altered fish. Well, that and chocolate. Unless the chocolate is genetically altered.
Mega Piranha is a movie about a group of genetically altered piranha that escape the research lab and begin terrorising Venezuela. The research facility has been given the task of attempting to grow fish larger so that the people in the area will have more food. I don't know why you would add piranha into the tank, but I am not a movie producer either.
While still relatvely normal sized, the piranha eat through the hull of a fishing boat to get to their first victims. The American that is sent to investigate and help the scientists, was about as stiff as a cardboard cut out. He really drowns the movie. No pun intended.
The fish continue to grow exponentially and there seems that there is nothing that could be done to correct the situation. Let's just say, towards the end, I was cheering for the fish. The movie was impossibly wretched. So of course I had to watch the whole thing.
I give it 1 out of 5 gills.
Mega Piranha is a movie about a group of genetically altered piranha that escape the research lab and begin terrorising Venezuela. The research facility has been given the task of attempting to grow fish larger so that the people in the area will have more food. I don't know why you would add piranha into the tank, but I am not a movie producer either.
While still relatvely normal sized, the piranha eat through the hull of a fishing boat to get to their first victims. The American that is sent to investigate and help the scientists, was about as stiff as a cardboard cut out. He really drowns the movie. No pun intended.
The fish continue to grow exponentially and there seems that there is nothing that could be done to correct the situation. Let's just say, towards the end, I was cheering for the fish. The movie was impossibly wretched. So of course I had to watch the whole thing.
I give it 1 out of 5 gills.
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