Werewolf Hunter: The Legend of Romasanta‏

When I first read the title to this movie, I thought that it was going to be about a person who hunted werewolves.  Instead, it is a story of a werewolf who acts as a hunter.  Either way, it was not that bad of a movie.

 

The year is 1851.  Manuel is a simple vendor who travels from town to town, selling his material.  What he sells is not that important.  He rarely settles down is all that you need to know.  At a town that he has visited, there has been a rash of wolf attacks.  Plus, several people have been missing and it is assumed that they have been attacked by the wolves.

 

Manuel has the help of three sisters at a farm that he visits.  The oldest sister thinks that the middle sister, Barbara, is trying to steal Manuel from her and goes off with Manuel on one of his trading adventures.  She takes the youngest sister with her, leaving Barbara to manage the farm by herself.  But Manuel, being a werewolf, kills the two sisters.  Barbara realizes that something is wrong, and with the aide of a stranger and the authorities, they are able to capture Manuel and put him on trial for the murders of fifteen people.  The trial is suspended and while Manuel is under custody, he is (SPOILER ALERT) stabbed in his cell by Barbara.

 

The storyline is a good one.  Possibly because it is based on a true story.  But the gore level is at a minimum.  There is a scene that shows the transformation from wolf to man that is terrible.  Totally not needed in the movie.  Not a lot (if any) of digital effects in the movie, which is a plus for me too.

 

For the most part, it is a good movie and worth the watch.  If you were thinking like I was before seeing the movie that it was about hunting werewolves, try watching something else.

 

I give this movie 3 out of 5 silver daggers.

Banshee!!!

Yes.  With three exclamation points.  It might be because of the banshee scream being so loud or it might be because two exclamation points just wasn't enough.

 

Way back in 1970, three guys are getting high and watching TV.  They need to go on a grocery run and on their way, the woman that they were just watching on the TV is in the middle of the road.  So they pick her up.  But she is now what she appears to be and when the radio gets turned on, the frequency disrupts her disguise and she is the banshee.  She rips the guys to shreds and they crash into a lake.  The crash scene is pretty funny to me.  It's almost as if the producer didn't want to wreck the car, so it's a digital wreck.

 

Present day and the car is found.  The person who finds the car, Jack Gorman (Kevin Shea), is a scrap dealer and when he opens up the trunk, the banshee is released.  If you watched Attack of the Sasquatch, you will remember Kevin Shea as the hunter with the eye patch.  The banshee begins her havoc when a group of college kids show up for spring break.  Which is good, because we need some victims.  And they provide for some cool death scenes.  Being speared in the mouth, guts being eaten, heads ripped in half, torsos removed from the legs, ... all sorts of awesome gore litter this movie.

 

Jack's nephew, Rocker (oh yeah), gets in a few guitar licks too.  Towards the end of the movie, they figure out that the frequency from the guitar affects the banshee.  And Rocker becomes a rocking god on the front lawn to try and help kill the banshee.  The only problem that I had with this movie was the terrible ending.  It was wretched!!!  But other than that, it was not that bad of a B movie.

 

I give this movie 3 out of 5 electric guitars.

My Name is Bruce

Bruce Campbell has made a name for himself with some of the best B movies out there.  So he decided to direct a movie that spoofs the typecast that he became.

 

It's got all of the classic scenes you would expect from a good B movie.  The bad costumes, the decapitations, and a far fetched demon that has a simple weakness.  It all starts with four teenagers who begin breaking stuff in an old graveyard.  One of the teenagers, Jeff, takes an item from a grave that he shouldn't have taken.  The item belongs to Guan-Di, the Chinese God of War and Protector of the Dead, who also happens to have a soft spot for bean curd.

 

Bruce Campbell happens to be working on another film close by.  Jeff idolizes Bruce and wants him to help defeat Guan-Di.  Like some fans, Jeff has blurred reality with movies and thinks that Bruce Campbell is more like one of the characters that he played than a person in real life.  Bruce however, thinks that it is a stunt by his agent for a birthday surprise, so he plays along.

 

Bruce dashes the dreams of everyone in the town of Goldlick, including his number one fan.  But then redeems himself by coming back to fight Guan-Di.

 

It's a lovable laugh at the B movies that Bruce Campbell has made.  It's not necessary to have viewed a Bruce Campbell movie prior to viewing this one, but it would help greatly if you have prior experience with Bruce.

 

I give this movie 3 1/2 out of 5 BC 5000 chainsaws.

A.I. Assault

The best part of creating a robot that can kill relentlessly, is the ability to create two robots that can kill relentlessly.  The opening scene only shows one of the robots, but it also showcases how brutal capability of the mechanical monsters.

 

COOL DEATH SCENE NOT REPEATED IN THE MOVIE: When the movie opens, a soldier is killed when the robot shoots a saw blade that decapitates him.  Why not use that feature more?  I don't know.  Seems like an effective weapon.  The ray gun is nice too, but the saw blade is much cooler.

 

Big names in this film.  George Takei.  Michael Dorn.  Paul Logan.  What?  You don't remember Paul Logan.  He's the guy from Mega Piranha with Tiffany, from an older post.  This is some of his earlier work.

 

Here are the need-to-knows:

 

1. Robots were built to take over the front line on military attacks to save soldier's lives.

2. The robots have begun to learn on their own and must be stopped.

3. The COOL DEATH SCENE ALERTs are at a minimum.

 

When Paul Logan jumps in to help save the day, he does this tumble roll that is very comical.  Not worth saving the movie, but worth seeing.  It's these types of scenes that make my heart sing.  Gore at a minimum, plot jumpy, and digital effects that could have been polished.  All things you would expect from a movie like this and it delivers completely.

 

I give this movie 1 out of 5 lightning strikes.

Alien Siege

The world has been enslaved by an alien race that wants to harvest humans for their blood.  They need the blood to create a vaccine for a disease on their home planet.  But they don't just take the blood, they take the people.

 

A total of 8 million people are to be harvested by the alien Kulkus.  The contribution by the United States is 800,000.  A lottery is created to see who will be chosen to be sacrificed.  Dr. Stephen Chase's daughter, Heather, is one of the chosen, but he doesn't want to let her go.  He tries all movie to keep her from being processed, but she gets sent to the space ship that does the blood work.  Turns out, she is one of a handful that can withstand the pressures of the medical experiment being performed by the Kulkus.  Not only that, but her blood might be the perfect cure.

 

It doesn't matter, Dr. Chase is one of the leading researchers studying a Kulkus vessel that crashed on the Earth 50 years ago.  And he's a sneaky one.  He hid material, Genexium, that the Kulkus were looking for up in the drop ceiling of his office.  Cleaver, huh?

 

Heather gets help from the very soldiers who are gathering up the people for the Kulkus.  Carl Weathers is in charge of the soldiers.  I guess he should have punched some more discipline in them.

 

The aliens have superior fire power, but they have wretched aiming skills.  I guess the few explosions that they created must have shocked the military into doing their bidding.  Even if you enjoy science fiction movies, you will have a hard time enjoying this one.  Definitely one to miss.  One of the best lines of the movie, "That's one for the humans."

 

I give this movie 1/2 out of 5 rebel strikes.

The Midnight Meat Train

I saw the title of this movie and I thought to myself, "oh baby".  Does this movie have over-the-top violence?  Yes.  Does it have brutal gore?  Plenty.  Does it have a good story?  You betcha.  Big problem though, ... the ending.

A serial killer is loose on the subways.  He's a butcher.  Really.  He works at a meat packing facility.  He rides the subway at night and brutally, and I mean brutally, kills his victims with a hammer.  He has some other tools, but the hammer is the weapon of choice.  He performs several COOL DEATH SCENE ALERTS by smashing his hammer into the heads and faces of his prey.

A photographer, who is trying to make a name for himself in the art world, begins taking several pictures at night to capture the mostly unseen side of the city.  This includes witnessing a potential rape and photographing the assailants.  But he also happens to catch the butcher in a photo and it becomes his obsession.

Things move along well with the movie.  The storyline is solid.  The acting is good, partly because there are some recognizable faces in the movie.  The big problem I have is the ending.  It is almost as if the writers could not figure out a feasible solution to the story, so they through in this bazaar twist.  It is awful.  Period.

The subway conductor is aware of the killings.  The police officer assigned to the case is also aware.  That didn't really bother me.  It was the last minute addition to the story that ruined it for me.

Suspense: 9
Brutality: 10
Gore: 9
WTF? Ending: 0

Seriously.  I thought that I was going to get a B movie when I saw that title.  I guess not.

I give this movie 3 out of 5 century old subway schedules.

Headless Horseman

Ichabod Crane was to have had a problem with the Headless Horseman in Sleepy Hollow.  But the locals from Wormwood Ridge say that it really happened in their town.

 

A van full of college kids need to get to a party.  They take a short cut through the woods, run over a bear trap, and get towed to Wormwood Ridge.  Once at Wormwood, they notice how the townsfolk are creepy.  Apparently, every seven years on Halloween, ole Headless comes out of his tar pit from hell to collect heads from any strangers who are not part of the town.  How they lure in strangers into this town is another trick.  I guess people come to see the midget.

 

Predictably, one by one, most the kids have their noggins removed from their bodies.  The first one is a COOL DEATH SCENE ALERT: decapitation occurs when a college kid pokes his head out of a car trunk and Headless jumps on the trunk.  Another COOL DEATH SCENE ALERT happens when a girl gets hit in the head and falls backwards into a bear trap.  There are several scenes like this and one where the tow truck girl runs over her father.  There should have been more scenes like this in the movie.  Maybe some more scenes with the midget too.

 

The gore could have been a little more over the top, but overall, worth seeing.  Add in some gratuitous nudity and you have an instant classic.

 

I give this movie 3 out of 5 mace wielding, headless horsemen.