Zombie Honeymoon

This is a story of undying love.  And a zombie husband.  But mostly about what you do for love.

 

The newlyweds head off to a house, close to the Garden State Marina, directly after the wedding ceremony.  The vegetarian husband enjoys surfing and the non-traditional bride enjoys drawing.  The couple head to the beach for a little surfing and drawing.  While drawing, this man walks up from the water and vomits blood in the grooms mouth.  Just the way that every honeymoon begins.

 

Off to the hospital and the groom dies on the table.  Or at least that's what the people in the ER think.  Because 10 minutes later, the groom is sitting up.  The doctor orders him to get some rest, so they wait and then he is released.

 

The couple dream of moving to Portugal and do not think it's going to happen soon, so the groom quits his job, the bride quits her job, and then they give up their apartment, all in an effort to force them to go to Portugal sooner.  This is how everyone begins married life, right?

 

Finally the zombieness starts kicking in on the husband.  It's discovered when the wife comes home from the grocery and finds the husband in the shower eating the intestines of a neighborhood jogger.  He pleads with her not to go and through the power of love, she stays.  But she makes him promise that he will not eat or attack her.  Cuz you know, you have to look out for number one first.

 

The best man and maid of honor are invited for dinner to celebrate the couple going to Portugal.  It's a very awkward dinner moment when the vegetarian groom wants some of the best man's steak.  But it does lead to a good line for the next morning when the groom tells his bride, "I guess vegetarians don't make good cannibals.  Do they?"

 

It takes a long time before the zombie kills begin, but when they start, they come in heaps.  Travel agent, video store customer, sheriff, several deputies, the best man, the maid of honor.  They all are gnawed upon and killed.  But unlike most other zombie movies, the victims do not come back to life and create a never ending cycle of future zombies.

 

The end of the movie is bizarre.  Does the groom die?  Does the bride?  It's hard to tell.  And I am not about to watch it again anytime soon.  If ever.  Nothing too memorable about this movie.  The zombie kills were weak and predictable.

 

I give this movie 1 out of 5 vegetarian zombies.