Carny (2009)

Carnival people have to make a living too.  From the freaks who have tattoos everywhere to the people that pierce anything, these human oddities are paid to be different.  Unlike the people that work the late shift at Tower Records.  I know I am dating myself with that reference, but so be it.

 

I want to begin with the three best words in acting, "Lou", ... "Diamond", ... "Phillips."  Okay, probably not an accurate statement, but Lou Diamond Phillips is the sheriff of Reliance.  The carnival has come to town with all of their side show oddities, like the man with two heads (who later proclaims, "Ow, my two heads"), and in protest is the local preacher.  Pastor Owen believes that the carnival is evil and he is right.

 

Well, ... certain people of the carnival are evil.  Cap runs the show and he is just as sinister as they come.  He killed the man who delivered the newest addition to the carnival, the Jersey Devil.  The Jersey Devil is not a professional hockey player or someone who is a regular at tanning salons.  This creature is a four legged winged beast that has a taste for blood.  And the more blood it tastes, the more blood it wants.

 

Everyone in town goes to see the carnival and, guess what, ... the creature escapes.  The first victim is the pastor's son.  We needed a first victim and he was a bad apple anyway, so why not him.  The real fun comes when his friend gets it.  He is forcibly removed from his mom's car and then dropped onto the very same car.  His mom gets it too, but she doesn't die as cool as her son.  Other than this scene, the only other scene that has anything worth watching is when the pastor cuts out the tongue of the carnival owner.  "The devil speaks with a forked tongue!"  Well, not any more he doesn't.

 

Several times the creature could have been killed, but it takes LDP to take it our in the end, killing him along with it.  One thing that I could not figure out was why LDP was so concerned about the palm reader in the movie.  He met her for less than 5 minutes, but at the end of the movie, he is running around looking for her as if he had known her all his life.  Seemed rather dumb to me.

 

The digital creature wasn't totally wretched, but the acting trying to wave at it was.  There are no redeeming qualities to this movie and if you are up late enough, make sure you miss this one.  It's not worth the time.

 

I give this movie 0 out of 5 tranquilizer darts.